Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Too Many Doctors

I started the week having a simple dentist appointment for Nathan and I. Somehow that his grown to five doctor appointments. What is a bit ironic is that I just had a conversation with Jake's mom about how I was feeling better about doctor appointments in general. Since my medical drama unfolded I mentally struggle to even take the kids to their well-child checkups. I just get worked up.

I faced my fears and scheduled Nate for an appointment with the pediatrician about his skin. Over the last 6 months he seemed to have pimples popping up around his nose. I've taken him to the dermatologist twice and she's spent all of 30 seconds (no exaggeration) with him and sent us on our way with acne creams. Acne in a 5 year old was just not sitting well with me. I was afraid he was going into early puberty. I took him to Dr. Y Tuesday morning and to my relief he is NOT in early puberty, was completely mis-treated by the dermatologist and simply has a rash (for lack of a better word). Dr. Y prescribed bactroban cream and in just 12 hours it is already better.

We headed off to the dentist with Reese in tow for his first exposure to the dentist office. I took him along so he could check it out before his first appointment in 6 months. The hygienist took Reese back with Nate so he could see big brother have his teeth cleaned and play in the "moving chair". I headed down the hall for my cleaning. A few minutes into my exam the doctor comes in to take a look and says he sees something under my tongue he wants my ENT doc to see. He says it's probably nothing, but wants to play it safe. I freak out....the remainder of my appointment was a complete fog. I hardly remember the remainder of my cleaning, rounding up the kids, checking out and driving home. I was scheduled for an appointment with Dr. H for 9am this morning. This meant I had to sweat it out all too familiar feeling.

My gut tells me it's nothing, but my mind wonders off to visions of Dr. H ordering a biopsy and another wait begins. Unfortunately, that scenario is way too easy to pull up in my mind and I have to chase it away with images of good news and the relief that comes along with it. I floated through my evening...feeding the kids cereal instead of a real meal, celebrating the loss of Nate's second tooth (which popped out while he was eating his Cheerios) with less enthusiasm than my norm, passing on a swim with Jake and the boys and heading to bed shortly after getting the boys in bed for the mental comfort that only sleep (or heavy drugs) can bring.

Mom came over first thing this morning to watch the boys while I nervously drove to Dr. H's office. I was so nervous I couldn't even eat breakfast, but managed to eat two crackers before leaving. I concentrated on happy thoughts all the way there. I had even taken a shower, put nice clothes on and did my hair and make-up thinking if I looked good I must be healthy. It worked, because Dr. H took one look in my mouth and said he thought everything was just fine. I took a deep breath and asked if I could hug him! He'll check me again in 6 weeks and if all is good (which I anticipate) I'll go back to my regular 4 month check ups.

I'm trying very hard to not let this one little glitch set me back on my emotional mission to feel normal again. I'm keeping my appointment on Friday with Dr. F for a physical. I dug deep and found the courage to make this appointment because I'm way overdue on having my thyroid function checked and I want him to check my cholesterol too. It's been on my mind since Jake gave blood and his cholesterol was high. He was actually at Dr. F's office this morning while I was with Dr. H. Turns out he's fine too...........thank goodness.

And they lived happily ever after.........


Mom Tu-Tu said...

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a stressful time with the doctor's appointments this week. I've never had any real health issues and I still get anxious when I go to appointments! I'm glad that the ENT thought that everything looked fine!

Jen said...

Whew. I was nervous reading that entry.

AnnMarie said...

not sure why drs think it's ok to say "just to be safe" feel safer when they don't say anything at all.

Stacy said...

I'm with Jen...reading this entry made me hold my breath!

So glad you received good reports!