Monday, February 2, 2009

Anniversary Hangover

I don't think I realized how upset I was yesterday for our almost 12th anniversary until I re-read my blog last night after getting multiple e-mails with a much different tone then in the past. By the way I do love all the blog comments, e-mails, phone calls, cards, visits, etc. as they keep me from being as lonely. Some challenge my beliefs, some are just entertaining like all of the problems I found out about, and some are just heartfelt e-mail hugs that I always appreciate (I think Rachel has set a new world record for e-mail love --- sorry Brad). I think I just hit rock bottom last night, hopefully like the market, Michael Phelps, and the Celtics after their 2-7 west coast trip. I know I can only improve upon yesterday and am already feeling better today. I lost my credit card over the weekend and suffered through Sunday, but overall it was really a great weekend.

My Aunt Lois and Uncle Cliff stayed with us from Mass and we had a great time. They already had a Wii at home so they were able to play with the boys while I actually got to do things like go for a run (do you know how hard it is to be able to do something so simple when you can't leave the kids alone in the house?), take care of some things around the house, and visit some friends. Saturday night I was able to connect with a friend I had not seen since junior high school with Roo, Janeen, and Steve. Sunday I just felt nauseaus (Roo how do you spell?) all day, and really starting getting upset in the evening. You would have thought with the incredible showing from FSU alums (Dockett, Boldin, Cromartie, etc.) and a great game it would have improved things but maybe it was that Conan O'Brien commercial that really did me in.

Today I had 3 people out sick in my group, spent 90 minutes at one of our banks with death certificate in hand trying to get on the kids' bank accounts, on Hope's IRA, and instead of just making me the primary now on our joint accounts I have to start up all new accounts. It's ridiculous, so now I have track every check and wait until they are all cashed before switching everything over followed by throwing out the hundreds of now useless checks we already purchased. I also met with the attorney that did our living will and trust and had to go by the funeral home to pick up some thank you cards they forgot to give me before. By the way, I want to send thank you cards to everyone and some day I'll get to them but right now I feel like the last jelly donut at the table with Oprah, Rosie, and Roseanne with everyone trying to get a bite at me while being squeezed to get the jelly out. I don't have a fighting chance to get to such things.

The most important thing is that the boys are good, and I think I need a vacation from being off work for most of 2.5 months now. Maybe getting out of Melbourne for a bit would do all 3 of us Wisemen some good, as long as it's south of the Mason-Dixon line. I'm still a yankee (actually Red Sox) at heart but I can't take the cold anymore. The last winter we were up north in New England Nathan got pneumonia and Reese was on a nebulizer (I have not idea how to spell that word either). So those of you keeping up with the blog still, you are helping me with comments and e-mails and it is incredibly helpful for me to be doing it. I don't talk to anyone about Hope and I'm not sure why. I almost did the other night when I was with Erin (a co-worker) but for whatever reason once again decided against it. Maybe I'll be more comfortable down the road. By the way we were at Chili's where I had a brush with greatness, I sat next to the table with the knee-brace lady from the "you paid too much!" commercials. Those of you outside the Brevard TV market won't know that reference but I guarantee the rest will.

Hopefully the market, Celtics, Kurt Warner, and I are back on the way up finding our groove again. Once you bottom out there are only brighter days ahead. I think that's what I've got ahead of me and I'm looking forward again. Don't ask me what I'll be doing but at least I'm looking down the road. HOPEfully that will lead the 3 wisemen back to daily happiness, eating chocolate cake for breakfast like they did Sunday more often, another Celtics banner, and my favorite phrase of the Spring that pitchers and catchers are reporting. That's when we Red Sox fans once again spring to life with dreams of CC Sabathia exploding while eating fried chicken buckets and A-Rod (or A-Fraud as his teammates call him according to Joe Torre) getting a venereal (again no idea how to spell, Rochelle?) disease from Madonna. Flowers and trees are starting to bloom here in sunny Florida, and I think my hangover for a day is over.

P.S. I have to thank my cousin-in-law Joe (he played guitar and sang at Hope's celebration closest to where we were sitting) one more time for probably the most heartfelt, helpful e-mail I have received to date. I admire Joe for more reasons then I could ever describe herein (except for his 4 lazy do-nothing children), and for him to share his own experiences just on the off-chance they might help me while I know he's going through work and Mave issues just blew me away. Thanks to all the Joe Plumbers (I mean singers) out there that are loving and supporting my family through this. We are getting stronger every hour and every day will be better then yesterday. We miss you Hope!


Anna Knowles said...

Don't worry about me- I don't like jelly donuts that much. I'm a chocoholic! Like I said before, you can just read what I write to you, if you happen to write back, that's just frosting on the cake (chocolate frosting that is) :)
Anna T.

Anonymous said...

Check with Anne Marie for the Credit Card: )

Anonymous said...

I say screw the thank you cards I think you have an out on this, besides we ALL know!!!!

rach said...

As sox fans ourselves A-rod deserves whatever he gets from Madonna. :)

Let the sunshine in.
Love you,
rach brad liv and ethan

Jessica Long said...

You are the man - hang in there...things will be OK. We are getting snow up here right now - it is beautiful. Cold, but beautiful. I love you & you guys are in our thoughts!!

Daddy-O said...

I for one expect a thank you card and I expect it to be hand delivered!

If we come down for Anna's spring break we should try to catch a Brevard Nationals' game. Scarlett loves em and you can't beat the 32 oz beers at those minor league games.

To follow up your mentioning the Transformers trailer during the SB apparently there was also one for the new GI Joe movie, Anna was all freaked out that we missed it. I guess it came on during the first 10 minutes or so cause we didn't get to start watching until the game clock was at 10:00.

Anna said...

Between the video games, sci-fi, and comic books I think I'm one lonesome Saturday night from dressing up like a storm trooper and hitting comic con. Thanks for calling me out.

Jake, no thank you cards. The idea is simply ridiculous. OR that's what assistants are for...looking for an assistant with a PhD?


Jennifer Nifakos said...

That's too funny. The knee-brace lady was Mark's preschool teacher at Suntree United Methodist School several years ago. Mark used to get all embarrassed every time he saw her on TV. The funniest part is that her knee brace was a total fake. She said the director of the commercial just told her to wear it...maybe for sympathy?? She never even had an injury...

We saw the asian guy from the same commercial at Smokey Bones about a year ago. I guess everyone has to eat!

As for the thank you cards, I'm with everyone else. They're nice and all, but being a guy kinda gets you off the hook.

Wishing you a peaceful day, Jake.

Anonymous said...

You DO NOT have to send out any thank you cards. Everyone should be thanking you for the blogs. I'm sure they are helping everyone that knew Hope and it's also a way to let people know how you are doing. Keep the fight up your doing great!!!!!!!!!

Trish Scholer LeBouef said...

Keep hanging in there Jake. Love hearing from you, whether you're feeling up or down. Don't feel bad for not being at your best right now. I remember backing into someone's brick mailbox in the midst of drama. I really wanted to get down and leave my number, just couldn't deal with something else. :) Just remember whether it's a string your hanging onto, you're still hanging on and all the small stuff we tend to worry about just doesn't really matter.