Thursday, June 19, 2008

Best News Yet

Yes that's right, they are making a Knight Rider full length motion picture and it's about time after two Hulk's and a Duke's of Hazzard (both also Friday night classics in my day --- yes Erin my day was a long time ago and you probably never heard of these shows). The bad news is that Hoff (David Hasselhoff's nickname for those that are also officers in the fan club have come to know him) from Knight Rider, Baywatch, and of course singing fame (German's love that guy --- a regular schtick for Norm McDonald in his SNL days at the news desk) is not going to be the lead. That leaves an incredible opportunity for a lesser star like Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, Tom Cruise, or someone more with his body like Will Ferrell to dawn the black leather Member's Only jacket for some good ol' catch the bad guys with a great fist fight and arm behind the back walk him off to the police with your car doing all the work similar to the new Volkswagen commercial (see the German connection don't ya?). One last Hoff reference, I'll never forget the interview with him the day after the OJ chase and also the same night as an NBA Finals game between the Knicks and Spurs where he blamed the fact that his singing debut on pay-per-view failed miserably because of the OJ chase. Right Hoff, nobody tuned into a pay-per-view that most folks buy weeks ahead of time just in case OJ might jump in his Bronco for an unexpected cruise down the Santa Monica freeway.

Back to the more important information, Hope is thrilled with the NBA champoinship for the Celtics, the Red Sox coming back to win 2 of 3 from the Phillies in Philadelphia, FSU winning its third straight track championship, her trache was removed, she's keeping all of her food down without nausea, she's pooping and peeing without a catheder, she's talking a bit, we have a shot at going home sooner then Monday, the boys are great, and most importantly that I was gone most of the day because I had to run back to Melbourne (6.5 hours round-trip today, got to love I-4) so Hope got a break from me and you guys with my posts (I see everyone was thrilled as was I that Hope blogged). She's doing great, she's moves at glacial speed, but so does Reese every time I ask him to get dressed. I can't really blame him though, who doesn't love naked time??? In the tradition of Joey on Friends, we have naked Tuesday at the house but somehow cannot get any visitors. Must be a busy night for you guys.

Speaking of Joey, I was stuck in the hotel room one morning working before I could get into ICU and I saw a movie with him as a baseball player with a monkey. Wasn't that done already with Clint Eastwood (see my previous e-mail about Clint, nobody was willing to tell him he could not have a part even though he's not funny and his co-star was a monkey)? Is post-Friends that bad, or please tell me he didn't choose that roll while doing Friends...

I mentioned Hope is peeing and pooping again without a catheder, that was brought on by her penguin walk and glacial speed to the bathroom last night as she ended up pooping all the way to the bathroom just in time to stop when she got to the pot. It's amazing what drugs to your body and how it reacts afterwards, as she felt it come on but could not wait long enough to get there.

Our good friend Rochelle and all other nurses, CNA's, techs, etc. that work at hospitals do not get paid enough. They came right in and cleaned it all up good as new within minutes. Rochelle, if we have the same problem at home I'm calling you. Mine is limited to 3 boys' bums, that's it. Those of you without kids may think this is inappropriate, but those with know that poop talk is daily. In fact every time we say wee-wee, or poo-poo, or anything like it Reese points out right away that we are using potty talk and that we can only do that in the bathroom. So now Reese will sometimes going into the bathroom, not to potty mind you, but to stand there and say penis or bum. It's so cute we can't get mad. For you future and new parents out there, think through before you make any rash decisions on house rules such as when it's okay to use potty words.

One other quick anectdote, I was with Natedog once in Carrabba's and he had to go poop. So we talked our way all the way through it from making sure every inch of the seat was covered with T-paper, to discussing him not falling in, how he held his shirt up even though I promised no poop would get on it if he didn't, to how big the poop was when it came out, his joy afterwards including a woo-hoo similar to my Celtics woo-hoo's except with a cuter voice, how well I did cleaning his bum including a compliment from him, washing his hands with soap first (his idea) before water, and then finally leaving the handicap stall. Two guys were standing by the exit door when we walked out laughing hysterically as they had probably finished their business anywhere from a minute to 5 minutes earlier, but just stayed to listen to our conversation. At least we were in the men's room (that time --- but that's a story for another day).

Welp, there's even an outside chance we can break out of here as soon as tomorrow (like the previously referenced Duke's did from Hazzard County Jail on almost every episode, but my personal favorite was the ones with Daisy --- that's it, just the ones with Daisy). How Roscoe, his dog Flash who moves almost as fast as Hope to the potty last night (ooh I'm in trouble with Reese as I'm not in the potty room), Cletus and Boss Hogg always left those keys out and napped just close enough for the shoe laces or belt buckle (pick your episode, yep they actually did both on different epsiodes) I'll never understand. At least they always arrested a country music star at the end of each episode to sing at the Boar's Head before they all had their unison belly laughs at a dumb joke. Man, they just don't make them like they used to. Much like Rocky V, the season with the replacement cousin Duke's does not exist in my world either. And for those of you that saw the reunion movie, it's just a shame we all have to get old (but Hope will tell you I'm in complete denial about me aging, I can still do everything I did when I was 20 just not as long or often, and I'm talking about sports Jamie).

I'm honestly not sure I'm ready to take care of her at home without the full back-up of 400,000 sf of medical professionals one button-push away. She's dying to go home, but still is slow getting around, struggles breathing due to the constant saliva build-up in her mouth because she's not swallowing yet like the rest of us, has a hole in her neck, and still has trouble getting comfortable. Over the 10 minutes of typing I've done so far on this blog I've gotten up about 8 times to try and help her. She did poop while I was typing (sorry Reese) and about 2 minutes ago complained (it's cool she can complain again, don't get me wrong) that she was so tired but could not get comfortable enough to sleep. So I had her sit up in the bed, turned one light on, gave her her Obama Mama book she's been reading, and then went and sat down at the computer. The first time I looked up before I even started typing again she was out cold, never even opened the book. So I turned off the light and she's fast asleep. Good thing too, it's 9:45 PM and I haven't run out for dinner yet. Anyway, I'm excited she think's she's ready to go home but I'm very nervous about doing it. We'll see how tomorrow goes, but man we miss those boys. No matter what I'll be home on Saturday morning for Natedog's b-ball game to defend his playing and my coaching all time undefeated streak.

We just found out today my sister in CA who's having her first baby is having a girl. She's already decided on Bella Luna, absolutely a beautiful name. I have a subdivision project I worked on with the exact same name so when she gets older I'll tell her I named it after her. Nobody better bust me out on the timing so I'll be a cool uncle. I've already blown being cool with my kids, Kurt and Scott's kids, and everyone else that knows me so at least give me this one thing. By the way, if anyone wants to name their kid Sandy Pointe, Crystal Lakes or Stewart/Lake Washington Townhomes I'll name a project after them too. Nevermind, if it's a girl named Crystal Lakes she'd probably just end up being a stripper.

We received a comment yesterday that blew us away from our blogs. A woman at Moffitt was researching young women with cancer and kids and came across Hope's blog. She is here at Moffitt now but I could not respond to her comment. Anyway she said that she reads every post religously and that our blogs help her get through her day. I'm sure she's doing even better now that Hope has blogged but that really made us both feel good. We do this for our therapy and your knowledge, but it's awesome to help a complete stranger going through the same thing at the same time. I hope we get to meet Lynn or contact her directly one day.

One last comment to answer a few of your questions. I do actually think the way I write (scary I know), I don't look up any of this stuff online except for DB Sweeney's character's name in the Cutting Edge (by the way, how did that movie never get a sequel when they're making Knight Rider the movie?) as I just remember useless information like nobody's business but have trouble with the kid's birthdates, and I type most of these in about 10 minutes. Hope absolutely loves all the comments you guys make so keep them coming, I always read them to her or like today when I was gone she was checking them during the day. You can always tell my blogs from hers due to length, but she'll be back adding pics of our boys from our house really soon and we all look forward to that. Got to run, haven't checked the latest at Hoff's fan club website. It's cool he and I (and that's it by the way) have a place we can chat.


Anna said...

I can't laugh without wetting myself, thanks for reminding me of that every evening.

roo said...

Today Reese stated that Nolan the "Gross" was using potty words. Then Nate and Sam were talking about diarrhea and Reese kept saying those are potty words. We then went into that Nate and Sam were using them because they were talking about when someone has soft poop.(this is when we were dropping off at Grans)-(Earlier in the day)- Then I was rinsing off the little ones from the pool and Sam came into the bathroom and asked me to under her bathing suit. She said in a matter of fact way, "Nathan could not unclip her bathing suit!" As I unclipped her suit I mummbled under my breath good. They still are little and laughed. Dirty old lady I am. Brings back junior high! Poop and pee on the brain today. R

Anonymous said...

It is so great to hear how well you are doing. I hope you get to come home today or this weekend. Olivia is excited to see Nathan and Reese today and has lots of things planned for them. Jake, I can relate with the pee and poop remarks. I think we have several more years before our kids grow out of that stage ( if they ever do). Thanks for keeping us updated and we will see you soon!

rach said...

We are very familiar with "potty talk" in our know all of us up here in Maine hold nothing back and share everything. You can be sure that you will get walked in on in the bathroom at family dinner. Luckily I learned to lock that bathroom door about 15 years ago at Bruce and Renie's house.
Jake-as usual, your writing cracks me up! That is one heck of an inside voice!
Keep up the speedy recovery!
Love to you all,
Rach and Brad

Myrtle's Mayhem said...

There's nothing wrong with a little poop here and there. Glad to hear the recovery continues.


p.s. I am pretty sure they did make a sequel to Cutting Edge...I think it was on ABC Family just recenlty...although, clearly it could not have been as spectacular as the original!

AnnMarie said...

i'd make a terrible nurse so if she comes home soon i can only come over to gossip, chat and bring the Cutting Edge II, Going for the Gold ;)

great news on a new little baby girl on the way...congrats to Kristen.

Keep healing Hope!

(you are so going to have to change your blogger password or get Jake his own blog...he's clearly hooked!)

Esther said...

Don't pick on Hope's glacial speed....she walks faster than my mom! 8-) John and I were so happy to get to see her. She really blew us away with how well she is doing.

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