Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Confessions of a Survivor

Let me start out by saying that in an effort to move past my cancer experience I rarely blog about it or even talk about it anymore. In one sense it keeps me sane to push it to the back of my mind however, sometimes I feel compelled to share a bit of my story or what life is like post-cancer. Today, I'm compelled to share.....well........vent and in my venting I hope you find a small sampling of inspiration to take care of yourself.

Ironically, just a few days after my sunscreen post I got a call from my dermatologist about a "mole" they had removed just a week before. Turned out it was abnormal. I silently freaked. I had to go back and have the surrounding tissue removed for further biopsy and with it a dozen or more stitches and another scar to add to my collection. After doing an Internet search off of my pathology report I freaked some more and called the doctors office near tears. The doctor had already told me it was not cancer, but the Internet provided me with some scary facts that I attempted to interpret from a bunch of medical mumbo-jumbo. The nurse spent a good bit of time on the phone with me and helped ease my mind and told me to get off the Internet. She called today to let me know the additional tissue they removed was completely normal! And only now can I relax. Honestly, deep down I knew it was fine, but I've gotten bad news twice and so I know how that scenario feels.

My challenge 5 years post breast cancer and 2 1/2 years post tongue cancer is to battle the thoughts that enter my mind (sometimes daily) about what my future health holds for me. I will be doing completely fine until something needs to be biopsied or I have to have a scan or blood work etc. That's when I have to give myself a pep talk and reassure myself everything will be just fine. I've talked to young women survivors and there doesn't seem to be a magic post cancer year mark when you instantly stop being concerned about your health. I will continue to be concerned, some moments more than others, but I will not be a victim and let it consume me.

So, here's to health! Wear sunscreen, check your boobs or have someone do it for you and check your tongue........or have someone tongue you.


Jen said...

Ooh Hope! It was all serious then it got all...porno!!! :)
Love ya!

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