Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Whew! (And Relay for Life Reminder)

Whew, we've been busy like you wouldn't believe. Since last Friday we had Natedog spend the night at Gran's while we had a houseful and a sleepover for Reese's buds from school including parents, Saturday morning two soccer games, lunch with Mom and some friends we had not caught up with in a while and then all back to our house (Jon and I had a bet that the beer we drank at the restaurant could not be as cold as our kegerator and we had to verify as it took a few more just to prove our point, what was the point again?), we finally kicked them out and another friend came by unexpectedly with three boys (including his golf cart so I was flying solo at the house getting some yardwork done while they were all off) and they played for hours on end before a quick dinner, baths, bed, and then our neighbor Lindsey came over and I went out late with some friends.

Got home around 4 AM, woke Lindsey up and walked her home, boys were up at 7 AM (movie time for 90 minutes while I tried to sleep but apparently Reese was looking at the TV the wrong way, or touched Nathans' pillow, or Nathan was breathing too loud or...or...or...), then off to a friends house for a pool party late morning, I stayed and then ran some errands, and then mid-afternoon and evening followed up by 40 plus friends/kids at our house for our entire Relay for Life team. The kids and I loved every moment of it (one of my neighbors told me yesterday that they're thrilled to live across from the party house as long as they keep getting invitations) and while sleep is just a memory or something other people need things are going great.

We had an incredible time at the Relay party except for a broken light all the kids got along amazingly well, our team has surpassed $15,000 thanks to all of you, I surpassed $6000 even more thanks to all of you, and it was all through small donations. The love and support we have received has been overwhelming. The event is this Saturday, it's 24 hours so even less sleep is coming, and there is still a couple more days until Friday if you still want to donate. No high sales pressure, please just do what you want and can afford because we are all in a difficult financial time right now. The link for my personal page is:

Thank you just does not cover how grateful I am to all of our friends and family helping us so much and now donating to help all of mankind (and womankind too which personally are my favorite between the two except for two young boys) because everyone has been affected by cancer in some way. Now the horrible rumors swirling about at the 'fun'raiser on Saturday about me dressing as a woman are greatly exaggerated and since I've been assured no one would be so disrespectful as to bring a camera or worse video I'm sure there won't be any stories to tell post-event. Stay tuned, I honestly don't know what I signed up for but apparently my team has honored (I think they might be leading me on with that honor crap) me with Mr. Relay, which apparently includes either a Joe Dirt look (classic flick enjoyed by all rednecks or those that just know some --- right Rachel?), 80's rocker (who doesn't love huge hair, I can't wait until that comes back and I'm teasing the boys' hair and buying hair spray by the gross), or cross-dressing (it's Saturday night and that's my regular thing so this one is no big deal). I was a cheerleader once for Halloween (starting to see the pattern aren't you --- no that was not me wearing Hope's pumps while weeding in the yard Beth and Rich!) wearing fishnet pantyhose and every single hair was individully sticking out through the holes. My friends kept just pulling them out until I started bleeding. Good times, good times and yes I've spent a lot of time talking to my psycho-logist about that night.

Great segway opportunity to get me out of my crossing dressing fantasies, I had my 3rd psycho appointment today. The pleather was great, I didn't lay down so I wouldn't fall asleep, no porn music for the 3rd straight time, and I'm cured again. I really do feel great after each appointment so far and I hope that continues (she tells me it's perfectly normal for me to wear Hope's pumps doing lawnwork, as long as when I wear the pink boa Hope won for being the largest 'fun'raiser years ago with the matching pumps and nothing else just in the house I'm good. The neighbors just let out a Whew! bigger than mine after last weekend).

We had two minor recent times the boys were individually upset about Hope, but we talked both through and they were quickly over. They're truly doing incredibly well, we still talk to her every night and at other times too. We tell her the favorite part of our day, kiss and hug her picture goodnight, and know she's with us all the time. I think for Mother's Day we're going to Disney for the first time ever (can you believe I've never taken my kids to Disney World?). We go to the other theme parks all the time but to date never Disney (sorry Dan I'll be cheating on you skipping Universal). My mom's out of state because she wants to be with her son she loves more instead than me (see even on Mother's Day you still have to feel guilty Mom) so why not hang out with the richest mouse in the world. Robin Williams had a great stand-up routine where he talked about what Mickey Mouse is like to a 2-year old, a 6-foot fucking rat (his words) and his baby screamed. He said Goofy always sounded like he was having an orgasm and does anyone know the difference between Goofy and Pluto (actually the last question is mine, I didn't steal that from Mork from Ork --- he's infamous for stealing other comics' jokes so I don't mind using two from him).

I'm still not balancing work and home stuff well enough but that's because I'm putting everything into the kids first. I'll get the balance, just time and paying more late fees is all I need. Whew, I'm exhausted but in a good way. Think about us on Mother's Day, we'll be in a fantasy world together with the boys' mommy on a day all mothers should be honored. We'll just be doing it with an orgasming dog and a 6-foot rat (alright Maria I just can't leave it alone, I know that is your ultimate fantasy as well). Saturday will be about survivors and curing cancer for future survivors, please give if you can and join us for an amazing celebration of life. They will be honoring Hope in some way and the boys will be with me there some of the time. Terrible segway I know, but Tina says the more typos the better Anna. I don't do spell check because things like "the Hoff" and orgasming don't show up. I also don't go back and read them all the time because these things are just way too long. Who can take that kind of time out of their day??? I love you guys for reading but I do this for my own sanity and healing, hopefully it can help others along the way. Whew! You're done with this one...


Tina said...

No Jake- I said that the run-on sentences are your voice.

rach said...

Boy, it s a good thing you don't require much sleep, Jake! Those boys are so lucky to have a dad like you. :)

From what I recall, Pluto doesn't talk? And Goofy is, well, just that...goofy...and apparently according to Jake, having a grand ol time all day long. :)

Yes, Joe Dirt is a classic! You will never see Kidd Rock that vulnerable in a movie.

We will be thinking of you this weekend as you walk for Hope. And be careful if you are walking in heels.

Rach Brad Liv & Ethan

Daddy-O said...

Ok, to solve this great mystery..
Pluto is a "pet" dog and Goofy is a "humanized" dog. While Disney doesn't actually say he's a dog his first appearance was as Dippy Dawg in 1932. Read more at Goofy Bio.

Enjoy Disney and be sure to have the boys say Hello to Cinderella for Scarlett (she'll be jealous). We'll be thinking of you Saturday, feel free to give us a call and let us know how all that walking goes (heels or not).

Anna said...

I'm concerned about all the references to "the Hoff"...I think you have a man crush worse than Will and Tebow.

Rob and Walker said...


That Relay link took me to your user log in page. I found your page here though...

I want to walk for Hope for the tatas...but I can't here in SC. So I bought a luminary for her and my grandmother to shine on the Pendleton High School track in SC tomorrow night! My first ever Relay event and I am happy to participate!

Pam Anderson said...

So do you plan to post a photo of you doing yard work in Hope's pumps and boa? I could see additional donations going into the Relay coffer for a peek at you in that get up!

Have a great time at Disney. It will be an amazing day.

(Avoid those late fees!)

Patrick said...

Okay, if Goofy is a morphed dog, per Daddy-O's post, then why was he linked with Clara Bell Cow! Is there some interspecies action going on! And furthermore, who is Max's (Goofy's son) mother.
Since I live just 3 miles from the Magic Kingdom, Jake I am stunned that you have never taken your boys to Disney! I am sure they will enjoy it.
Anyway, another great post and I am glad that you and the boys seem to be doing well!
As far as therapy goes, I did it for 10 years (yes, I was that much of a headcase) and it made a world of difference so keep it up for as long as you need it!
My prays are with you and the boys!
All the Best