Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hope

Anyone reading this has two kinds of Hope in their lives. The first that keeps you going every day seeking to be better and enjoy yourself more then the previous day. The second, because you know her and are reading her blog, is my Hope and you just can't help but to love her if you know her at all or have even met her. She fulfills both of those definitions for the three Florida Wise boys, like Tiffani Amber-Thiesen did for me when she moved on from Saved by the Bell to being the bad girl on Beverly Hills 90210. Tiffani gave me Hope in Saved by the Bell and the first girl on my list when Hope and I used to watch in our early college years.

Hope #2 for you guys is going through her toughest battle yet right now after tiring from her previous fight for almost seven years. As she puts it, she is so sick of being sick it makes her more sick. I think I remember the same saying in one of my Cliff Notes from a Shakespeare class (or possibly it was the movie that made me flunk Mrs. Lober's test in 11th grade because it wasn't even close to the original play). Hope's scrapping of western medicine and open arms to holistic healing alone to date has not progressed as Hoped (pun intended), it's been more like Tropical Storm Fay which was a joke 36 hours ago to us with its weak winds but now after dumping over 16 inches of rain in the last 24 hours it's starting to dampen our moods around town along with some houses, cars, and my project sites. It's still pouring outside with high winds so it's been raining on our city's and Hope's parade to more Hope for tomorrow. Through all the hurricanes we never missed three consecutive days of school, and tomorrow is number 3 with Monday of this week being the first day of school.

The first day of school is the annual pilgramage bringing new Hope to all children to see old friends, make new ones, hope for good teachers, wear your cool new kickers squeaking with each intrepid step, and most feeling better and more confident each day of the week as you ease into a new routine. Routine for us has been different then most over the last 7 years, at times much better and higher then most just to be doing the mundane, and at others looking for ways to find more Hope and healing kind of like Thomas Magnum in the all-time best private dick show in the episode he went back and forth to heaven in his final season. We are by no means in our final season, in fact today was the first major step to a new Hope and getting back the old Hope we miss so much like a Dukes of Hazzard cliff hanger. The General Lee as they cut to commercial is about to explode at the bottom of the ravine when Waylon Jennings says something witty and when they cut back from commercial the Dodge Charger is starting the jump all over again like a mulligan when you hit a bad first shot in golf. I was always mad about the cliff hanger fake until the next scene with Daisy Duke (by the way can you name another TV character that has her own type of shorts or other clothing named after her?) as that always seemed to make things better.

Hope's mulligan started this afternoon as we decided it would be best for her to stay at her Mom's for as long as it takes to regain her Hope again and get the old Hope back to the three Wise boys. She needs all of her energy and your positive thoughts and prayers to concentrate on only getting better right now. There will be no scans, doctor appointments, treatments like chemo or radiation as the docs recommended again but we decided against, or prescriptions for Hope anymore as they had taken both Hopes out of our lives for a short period of time. Today is the first day towards getting the old and a new Hope back for all of us and if you're reading this you have an inkling of how much work that will be. We were starting to feel like Sam Malone when he proposed for the third time to Diane Chambers on his boat during the best years of Cheers, and when she said no he just jumped overboard. Now we're feeling like Wilson floating the open sea alone in Cast Away but in the next few days we'll be Superman reversing the spin of the Earth to get back what we loved and had lost for a while. Hope's no Margot Kidder (Lois Lane in Superman II) as she went off the deep end or Tiffan Amber-Thiesen as she snorted her way to anonominity because she'll be back restarting her jump over the ravine.

We're fighting this thing head on with no drugs on our side (or against us pending your view) anymore, just positive mojo and the strongest will to not only survive but revive the daily Hope it takes to make every day better then the last. This is our toughest test to date, we're sick of being sick, and today was the first major step needed to detox from not only the last 7 years but also the last 35 years while weighing in at a paltry 120 pounds and new size 4 body that has her clothes dripping off her but the heart of a champion. Rocky has nothing on Hope on his best day (although somehow becoming faster then Apollo Creed while training on the beach still dumbfounds me), and we need just a little more time to get the new and old Hope back to her boys. I haven't blogged in a long time and even if no one reads this, I'm healing too.

- Just Jake.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jake,
You guys are in our thoughts and prayers. Please let me know anyway I can help. Hope, when you feel up to it call me and we can talk. I will be off all next week. I would really like to see you. Know we all love you and want to support you anyway we can. Cheryl

Anna said...

We can't take a breath without thinking of you all.

It's a good thing the tv was my babysitter or I would have no idea what you were writing about. Thanks for putting thoughts to paper.

Anonymous said...

Jake, Hang in there. I know it is tough for you but we will have our Hope back soon and life will go on. You have been a real trooper in all this.

My prayers are with you every step of the way.

Grandma

Anonymous said...

Hey Jake, I can only say that Jess and I keep you and Hope in our thoughts. We know that she will do great with the new plan of attack and can't wait for the day that we are all sitting at a table somewhere laughing at a joke you told with not a thought of this mess in our minds...

Domingo and Jess

J said...

Wishing I could do something more than type a comment. :( Love you guys.

Esther said...

We love you all and are sending our good thought vibes Hope's way. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help you all out.

lane, sam and pasquale said...

you are in our thoughts. we are sending positive vibes your way from the west coast.

you guys have made some hard choices, but now the healing can begin. i'm happy you are going to deal with the situation on your own terms. keep strong!

much love

rach said...

You two are some of the strongest people we know. Hope will return stronger than ever on both levels.
Sending love and positive thoughts,
rach, brad, liv and ethan

Anonymous said...

HOPE! I think of you every day and send you all the positive mojo I've got. I know you can do this... you just have to give your body enough energy so it can do what your mind wants it to. So, do whatever it takes! I'm with you! Love, Jennifer P

Life is beautiful... Mostly said...

Hope and Jake,
I know you two can conquer this. I am passing positive thoughts and prayers in your direction.

Laurie

Anonymous said...

Jake,

I haven't known what to say until I read this last blog from you. I am supposed to be working on my minutes from the Eau Gallie meeting, which is what made me think of you guys. I had tears in my eyes, not because I feel sorry for you or the family, but sorry for myself that I don't have the love that screams through your words when you write. I know that sounds selfish, but you two are truly blessed to have the love that is so obvious to me. Some people will never experience that kind of love, the love that is not just in your heart but the love that is in your soul. I call it a soulful love. And it makes me happy to read and feel that someone has it, because now I know it can be achieved.

Angela
P&Z

Anonymous said...

Jake,

I haven't known what to say until I read this last blog from you. I am supposed to be working on my minutes from the Eau Gallie meeting, which is what made me think of you guys. I had tears in my eyes, not because I feel sorry for you or the family, but sorry for myself that I don't have the love that screams through your words when you write. I know that sounds selfish, but you two are truly blessed to have the love that is so obvious to me. Some people will never experience that kind of love, the love that is not just in your heart but the love that is in your soul. I call it a soulful love. And it makes me happy to read and feel that someone has it, because now I know it can be achieved.

Angela
P&Z

Jamie said...

I haven't read Hope's blog for a couple of months....My eyes are bloodshot from catching up (I don't think that I blinked once).
No matter how many stories I read I am left both terrified and inspired by the strength of those who battle cancer. I don't know what to say other than I will be praying for all of you. Intently.

Bree said...

continuing to send my prayers! you two are amazing even when it probably doesn't feel like it.

J said...

please update when you can.