Monday, September 17, 2007

Kindergarten Bully?

Nathan comes home on Thursday with a note saying he was hit by another student and sent to the clinic! He had told me of this kid Christopher R****, who had been sent to the office a couple times. I thought, "What kid gets sent to the office in Kindergarten? What could he possibly be doing to warrant that?" And how is it that in the first weeks of school Nathan knows his first AND last name? Does the teacher get frustrated and say, "CHRISTOPHER R**** I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN TO LEAVE YOUR NEIGHBOR ALONE!" Then Nate tells me, "Mom, he didn't go to Pre-school." How is it that he knows that? Maybe Ms. C explained this to Nathan to help him understand that Christopher is getting adjusted to playing with other kids and learning the rules of a classroom. At any rate, Thursday's note from the clinic was not the first time I learned this child hit Nathan. Just the day before Nathan told me he had been hit by Christopher. Is Christopher hitting other kids or just Nathan? Not that that makes me feel better, but I find some comfort in known Nathan is not his single target. Why in the world would he decide to hit the biggest kid in the class? I emailed the teacher Thursday afternoon, but she was out on Friday so I haven't heard back from her on what is going on. I'm sure it's just the normal adjustments to Kindergarten, but I have to say I'm bothered by the whole thing.

UPDATE:
I spoke to Ms. C today. Seems little Christopher is a handful. Fortunately and unfortunately Nate isn't the only child he's bothered. Ms. C said he's a very angry child and this is his first school experience...making his adjustment very hard. His mother just returned from being in Iraq for 19 months. She said the mother is very eager to work with him so she's hoping he'll come around soon. Me too.

7 comments:

Anna said...

Don't worry. Things like that happen all the time. The kids are young. Remember, some parents use physical punishment to discipline their children. Maybe he went to a private preschool where he was spanked. You've got many years dealing with schools and teachers...just help Nathan use the appropriate strategies when confronted by the other student. Careful, do not label the other child as a bully (it's a loaded term)...you don't know where he's coming from.

Oh, and if you wanted to show how tough you were, wouldn't you go after the biggest kid in the class?

:)

Mom Tu-Tu said...

I'm sorry to hear that this is happnening! It's especially bad that it's at the beginning of Kindergarten when everything is so new, and supposed to be exciting and fun. I hope this all stops soon. There is NO excuse that justifies this child hitting any other person.

Anna said...

No excuse for violence, but understanding is necessary for all parties involved.

Hope said...

I should have noted that Nathan doesn't seem bothered at all by what happend...which makes me feel better. When I first read the note from the clinic I made a conscience effort not to over react, but felt as Nathan's mother I should at least check in with the teacher about it. I guess it was the fact that he was hit hard enough to have to go to the clinic, unlike the day before and that it happened two days in a row. I also asked Nathan if he hit the child back. He replied, "No, I didn't even think about doing that." For that I was very grateful. However, he said Christopher told Ms. C that Nathan hit him back. Nathan said he just told the teacher he had not..and I'm hoping the teacher has gotten to know Nathan well enough to know he would be honest.

Daddy-O said...

Nothing like a midget-on-midget kindergarten fight. J/K

Glad to see that Nate took the high road being the bigger kid in his class.

Jen said...

That would really bother me as well. I dread having to deal with these issues when Luke and Jake start school.

Christina in Canada said...

Hello. My daughter attends Jr. Kindergarten at a private Christian School and Anna, they do not spank. It's 2008, and you are clearly not familiar with the similarities between public and private schools. How ridiculous! But I can say that my daughter is being bullied by another girl, same size, and nothing is being done. I have sat in on her class and witnessed this BULLY punch a tiny little girl in the eye and then proceed to hit, kick and flail herself away from Mrs. H(teacher) who then had to lift this girl by the waist to remove her from class. I sat horrified watching the looks on the childrens faces. And that was my daughters last day. So after the huge tuition and the fabulous education she has received so far, this BULLY has put a very bad taste in my mouth. We unfortunately have to remove our daughter for her own safety, as this BULLY is violent and who knows what she will do next. I will not pay big bucks if nothing is being done about the abuse. I will however have to take a stand as her protector and switch schools, this time checking the "bullying" policy before enrolling her. I have told the administrator that this child is a huge liability. The sad part is that her mother also works in the school down the hall from the Jr.Kindergarten class, in the daycare room as an ECE! And whenever this BULLY acts up, off she goes to her mom. As well, this child has a child care worker with her at all times in class to guide her and help her do right, but still is doing wrong after nine months of intervention. The co-ordinator will not tell me what the child psychologist and psychiatrist have said in regards to her, but clearly it is not being followed up on. It makes me sad for the BULLY, sad for the children who have witnesssed this abuse so early in their education, and sad for the fact that as teachers and protectors when we as parents are not there, they are teaching but not protecting. So it can happen anywhere, public or private school. The greatest blessing in this life is our children, we are their greatest advocate. A bully is a bully is a bully. You can't sugar coat it, it's a loaded term. YES! Loaded with anger, abuse, unjust and unfairness to all involved. At this moment in time I am my daughters hero, and she is mine. Never depend on someone else to tell you the truth. Seek it out for yourself like I did, and you will be amazed at the power of one!