Birthday Pics

Nathan chose a co-ed sleepover birthday party. At 7 you can pull that off, but I don't think we'll ever be able to do it again. The kids were great and we didn't have a single problem.

This was the first year we didn't do a combo birthday for them. We've always given them the choice (their birthday's are just 5 days apart), but this year they wanted to do their own thing. Now that they have their own set of friends I'm guessing combo parties are a thing of the past.

Happy 7th and 4th little men!

Therapy Session

A bomb was dropped on Jake and I last Friday when we went to the doctor for a simple check-up....the tissue removed when I had surgery indeed had cancer in it.......enough they are recommending I consider more chemo and radiation. They got clear margins, but just can't be sure I'm safe from it coming back. And why the hell they didn't mention this before now I have no idea.

My immediate response, "No, I won't do it". And I looked the doctor right in the eyes and said just that. The risks and side effects from radiation to the same area twice can be awful and long-term. A risk I don't think I'm willing to take. If it didn't work the first time who's to say it will work this time? Fortunately, he fully understood my point and understood if I chose not to do it.

Ironically, I had been to see a nutritionist/holistic practitioner the day before. Jake and I talked a lot about taking a "natural" approach instead of the toxic radiation and chemo. Thanks to my mom and his mom's love, knowledge and belief in the mind/body/spirit approach to healing, this was not a far fetch idea for us to consider. We talked to both of them as soon as we got home and they were very supportive.

I spoke to Jennifer P. and Stephanie yesterday, both have had radiation to the face/neck and chemo and both agreed they too would not do radiation again. It was like a breath of fresh air to talk to two people who knew exactly what I would be facing and to support my idea of a different way to health. Now, I just have to be 100% sure it's the right choice for me.

I'm tired, not just physically tired, but emotionally tired from this repeated "cancer theme" I've had in my life these last 6 years. I'm exhausted. I feel beaten and bloody yet determined to fight my way out of this.

Jake said he was going to blog about all of this and I said no. I didn't want anyone to know what was happening. I'm sick of blogging about being sick and putting all my dirty laundry out there for everyone to see. However, this morning, I decided it might be therapeutic.....so I'm here. Thanks for the therapy session.

Helluv A Surgery

Before the Dr. scared the sh** out of us.

I have tongue envy!

Thank you, thank you to Ann-Marie for going to my pre-op appointment with me! I couldn't have survived it without you!

I thought I was meeting with Dr. M to go over my surgery scheduled for June 12th, but when Dr. A appeared I was confused. I soon learned that Dr. A was the main surgeon who will do the vascular and reconstructive portion of my surgery (basically all the work). I liked him from the start, confident, honest, forthcoming, compassionate and patient. He spent at least 30 minutes telling Ann-Marie and I all the nitty-gritty involved with this surgery...

Here is what will happen in a nutshell. I'll go in June 12th, surgery will take 6-7 hours. Dr. M will remove about half of my remaining tongue, Dr. A will take skin from the underside of my wrist (to become my new tongue surface), make an incision from my wrist to my elbow and remove tissue and vessels that will make up the rest of my tongue, open my neck, attach one end of the vessel in my neck and the other(s) to my tongue, take a skin graft from my upper/outer hip to replace the skin taken from my wrist. I'll spend the next 24 hours unconscious and if I wake up combative (fight or flight) they will knock me out for another 24 hours. It will take 3 days before the vessels have healed enough for me to move my neck. The first 48-72 hours will be spent in ICU. I will have a feeding tube in my nose for around 15 days. I may have a trach (to breath) for 5 days. I won't be able to talk for awhile (not sure how long). My arm will be in a cast and I'll receive physical therapy and speech therapy to help me get back full function of my arm and speech. (Ann-Marie, did I get it right?)

As you can guess, I got a little teary and overwhelmed to hear all of this. I just told myself, "I can do this". Oh God, let me be able to do this.

After all of this, Ann-Marie and I were able to laugh at the fact that one of the physician assistants thought she was my mom (she really didn't look at Ann-Marie and when she did, corrected herself with "sister?" and Dr. A (according to Ann-Marie, it wasn't in my view) had a booger hanging out his nose!

Together

(And yes, that's Jake on the far left....hee hee!)

Oddly enough, my dear friend, Jen P., and I are conquering together this go round. I hope she finds as much strength in me as I find in her. In honor of skin cancer awareness month and start of summer season she sent out this email:

Dear colleagues and friends,

As some of you are aware, I have been battling cancer for almost five years. I was officially diagnosed with melanoma (the deadliest form of skin cancer) in September of 2003… more than two years after the first signs of the brown patch on my cheek. As a result, I had a significant amount of tissue removed from my face and neck and endured 12 months of interferon chemotherapy. In December of 2007, the doctors found a tumor in my neck… the melanoma had metastasized to my lymph node. After another invasive surgery to remove the tumor and other lymph nodes in January, I had 4 weeks of radiation treatments. Three days after my last treatment in March, scans showed the disease had spread to my lung. On May 2nd, I had a section of my lung removed. I am 35 years old and now have stage IV metastatic melanoma (there is no stage V). And unfortunately, there is no cure and no approved treatment plan for the disease at this stage. I am now trying to stay healthy enough to be accepted into a clinical trial to try to prevent the future spread of the disease to my other organs… my liver, bones, and brain. I tell you all of this in hopes you will become more aware of the dangers of skin cancer and to stress the importance of PREVENTION and EARLY DETECTION.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), skin cancer is the most common form of cancer in the United States. The two most common types of skin cancer – basal cell and squamous cell carcinomas – are highly curable. However, melanoma, the third most common skin cancer, is more dangerous, especially among young people. Approximately, 65% - 90% of melanomas are caused by exposure to ultraviolet (UV) light or sunlight. For more information, please read the attached or go to the CDC website: http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/skin/.

Because May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month, the American Academy of Dermatology is partnering with dermatologists across the United States to offer free skin cancer screenings. If you are interested in finding out where you can go for such screenings, please click: http://www.aad.org/public/exams/screenings/index.html. The uses of preventative measures (hats, sun screens, etc.) as well as early detection (regular skin checks) are essential to your survival.

Thank you for reading my story. Please share it with anyone who will listen. I hope it will save you and those you care about from going through the same experience.

Sincerely,
Jennifer

Update and on to other things

Preliminary results of the PET and CT scans look clear! Now I wait until Wednesday to find out what the plan of action is. Nervous, but enjoying the glimmer of hope Friday brought. Thank you Dr. C for giving me my results right away! Waiting is agony. Keep thinking good thoughts for me!



Good things happening that are keeping me UP.....

1. Reese didn't pick his nose at school Friday.
2. We had the house pressure cleaned and it looks so sparkly white and clean!
3. Nathan finished up soccer and t-ball this weekend. He's awesome at both and it was such a joy to watch him play. He is very proud of his cool trophies.
4. We spent the better part of the day Saturday in the pool, doing yard work and an impromptu splash in our neighbors pool. It felt soooooooo good to hang out without anxiety tugging at me.
5. There has been a baby deer sighting in the neighborhood (we have lots of wooded areas). We went looking for it last night....we just saw 4 adults, but can't wait to see it.
6. Yesterday when we were getting our suits on to swim, Reese was holding my bathing suit top and when I told him I needed it, he looked at me, pointed to my (rock star, $42,000, reconstructed...there are some perks to illness) breasts and said, "To cover those up?"

For Jen

For Jen P., love ya girl and thinking about you today...thinking about us.

There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.-- Harry Crews

I have a couple of girlfriends who are like, healing. We take care of each other. They know when I need to be taken care of.-- Maggie Gyllenhaal

Jake Married Another Woman!

Erin and Mark asked Jake to perform their wedding ceremony. He did a great job. Amazing what you can do as a FL notary!

Porch Pics

Inspired by Cooper's Cabana we did some back porch improvements of our own. The steps have finally been added at our new screen door. Poor kids had to make a 2 foot leap for a few weeks. Mocha is now sporting "real" steps out her doggy door instead of the stacked up pavers and bricks she's been used to these last 2 years. And we finally found "that table" we've wanted by the grill and new porch fans. I think it's time for a BBQ.

Did anyone else see Oprah's show about being wasteful? I was so happy she did this show. I think we do pretty good, but I did invest in a water filter dispenser to keep in our garage frig so we can cut down on bottled water. And I vow to only use juice boxes/bottled drinks for school lunches!

Congrats to Jen on her new job!

Spring Break Wrap Up

Spring Break comes to a close today. We've had such a great week. The kids picked out new fish for the fish tank (I killed the others when I cleaned the tank last) and the store gave us 7 baby Molly's since Reese had picked out the mommy. As expected 6 of them died, but "Elf" the little runt is still with us.

We met up with Cheryl and Olivia for some fun at the fountain. Cheryl and I sat under a beach umbrella for some R & R and watched the kids play.

Both Gran and Nana scooped up the boys one at a time for some Grandma spoiling. I told the boys who ever was at home with us could plan dinner. No rules. Reese chose Honeynut Cheerios and chocolate chip cookies. Nathan's dinner was Tortellini and ice cream sandwiches.

We planted a vegetable garden. Cucumbers, watermelon, cantaloupe, tomatoes and squash.

Jake played hooky from work and we spent the day at Animal Kingdom, a first for us. The kids were angels. Reese walked for miles, never asking to be held because he was tired. We passed gift shop after gift shop and neither of them asked us to buy anything. There wasn't one fight between them, complaint about the heat or end of the day grumpies. It was a day to remember.

Jake's cousin Jessica and her hubby Joe from Maine were here for the weekend and we had a great visit. Reese begged them to stay...precious.

SUNday

Cheryl and I met and for lunch and a movie with the kids. It is such a beautiful, sunny day it was almost sinful to be indoors, but the kids loved Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who and I must say it held out interest too.






A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOES OUT TO ANN-MARIE TODAY! Happy Birthday, Girl!

Blue Man

Jake and I had a mini getaway this past weekend. Gran and Nana kept the kids and we headed to Orlando to Universals Royal Pacific Hotel. We took the water ferry over to City Walk too see Blue Man and then back over to our hotel for dinner at Tchoup Chop. It was so nice hanging out the two of us.
And guess who we run into while shopping at Pottery Barn...Ann-Marie, out with her old room-mate.

Come Blog With Me

Finally, my blog roll is growing as some of my fellow friends have caught the blogging bug. I want to personally invite a few other's to join in the fun...

Myra, I'd love for you to start a blog about your life with those two beautiful girls you have in your life now. There are a lot of us who admire what you are doing and want to hear all about it!

Jennifer N., fellow stay at home mommy of two boys that rock, won't you blog with me?

Natalie, with two teenage daughters I KNOW you have something to say.

Jennifer P., blogging can be very therapeutic, plus, I know you would entertain the hell out of us!

OK, so there you have it, an official invitation to click "create blog" in the upper right of the screen. Or just click here. It's easy and fun! Come on, inquiring minds what to know.

Happy Birthday Jen!

Jennifer and I back in 1993 on my first visit to see her since moving to Florida in 1988. Those are not real sheep. In fact, I remember it was just the two of us that day so we must have propped the camera up on the back of one the stone sheep to capture this picture. Happy 35th Jen!

Little Cooper

Ann-Marie and Rob welcomed little Cooper to the world last night! He weighed 5 lbs. 9 oz. Congrats!

Baby Shower

Meredith and I had the privilege of throwing a baby shower for our good friend Ann-Marie this past weekend. She got lots of loot for little Cooper, who will be arriving in just a few more weeks!

Girlfriends

I got a much welcomed call from Jen (thanks for calling girl) tonight. It was so great talking to her. Because my dad was in the military I moved a lot growing up and never had the privilege of having friendships that spanned more than a few years. I met Jen just before starting junior high when we were 14 years old. We clicked right away as we were so grateful to meet someone as tall as each other . The rest of the late bloomers finally caught up to us, by that time we were already fast friends. Just as our friendship became inseparable I moved to Florida, but we've always stayed in touch, being in each others weddings etc. Now, we both have two boys 3 years apart in age and each have a "Jake" that we are madly in love with. We both vowed to talk more often and as soon as I got off the phone I programed her number into my cell phone.....I'll call soon.



I also heard from Melissa, another friend I haven't heard from in awhile and we made plans to meet for dinner Thursday night to catch up. I love a good girls night out!



Here's to girl friends.